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Feb. 21st, 2010


[ in the doorway ]

It's been a long time since the door's even come close to showing up for Izzie - or even presented itself as an option for her to reach out and go through if she so chooses.

And every time it surprises her, she doesn't even allow herself an opportunity to think, or even to change her mind - just sets her jaw, narrows her eyes, and lets go, lets it fall closed.

She has to let go.

Because soon enough, it'll just stop appearing altogether.

That's what she keeps telling herself, at least.

Oct. 30th, 2009



Sleep hasn't come easy for weeks now.

She could chalk all of it up to being back at the hospital, but now she doesn't have a job, so that excuse is useless. She could chalk it up to the cancer, too, but that seems like a lousy one to make, and she hasn't felt sorry for herself in a while. She's not about to start now.

"Hey there, Izzie."

The rumble of his voice echoes in her ear.

"You're not here," she mutters, scrunching her eyes shut against the dark, against his face. His arms are warm around her and his stubble scratches her cheek as he presses a kiss there.

"You can't be real. You're not. Because the only reason you were here, before, was because I had cancer, and you weren't real then, and you're not real now."

"The cancer's still there, Izzie. The cancer's still there, and so am I, now."


No, please, just leave me alone, just let me do this alone, you're not real, you can't be real, you're dead, this isn't happening, I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, no.

It's a stream of this in her head, long after the weight of his body fades away from the bed, long after the bed grows cold beside her.

She drifts into restless dreams.

Jan. 28th, 2009



I'm here for you.

The words still echo in the empty room - in the bed that still smell like him, the sheets that still carry his scent. He's disappeared hours ago, and the words linger behind.

She's a doctor. She needs to figure this out. She needs to figure out what's wrong.

Because people who see their dead fiances aren't exactly brimming over in the sanity department.

She's sick.

And she doesn't know how to tell anyone.

I'm here for you.

She's alone now.

But she can't be here, in this room. Her hand fumbles for the doorknob as she dries her cheeks with the back of her hand and walks in.

Jan. 22nd, 2009


(no subject)

He said he's here for me.

Nov. 20th, 2008


(no subject)

Spoilers for tonight's episode.Collapse )

Nov. 13th, 2008


(no subject)

Spoilers for tonight's episode.Collapse )

Oct. 10th, 2008


(no subject)

Honestly, the nerve of some people!

February 2010



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